


What if I can't forget you?

by TSM (tasamo)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Supernatural (TV) Fusion, Angst, Businessman Castiel, Chef Dean, Drama, F/M, Flashbacks, M/M, New York City, Past Relationship(s), Reunions, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 05:26:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3369494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasamo/pseuds/TSM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The man turned around and in a split second his jovial expression changed, his smile still etched on his face but faded from his eyes. Cas noticed his eyes, emerald green and, he knew, flecked with precious gold. He felt his face take on a confused expression, his head subconsciously tilting as he tried to make sense of his situation. Somehow, he was staring into the eyes he hadn’t seen for three years. Somehow, he was staring into the eyes of Dean Winchester."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

No matter what time of day it was, midtown Manhattan was busy. Full of stylish ladies out for their daily shopping and mimosas, full of tourists aching to experience the glow of the city and full of business people, late for another meeting, grabbing another extra hot double shot espresso. Midtown Manhattan was busy. Unfortunately, summer meant construction was in full swing and today Castiel had five minutes to walk nine blocks, six more then he would have had to if the construction works hadn’t cordoned off parts of 47th Street. He checked his watch and sighed, he wasn’t going to get a chance to grab a sandwich on the way, not if he didn’t want to turn up to the meeting stone cold last and be forced to sit in the very furthest seat from their company CEO, the same seat that was directly facing the intimidating man and tended to be the object of most of his snide questions.

Castiel still wasn’t sure exactly why he was being forced to attend this meeting. Sure, his job as VP of Finance at Heaven Corp was satisfying enough but he wasn’t even in the head office and wasn’t sure why he was being forced to trudge all the way there to be intimidated by their British expat of a CEO, Crowley.

He tuned out and tried to plan out his next few days, knowing he had a rather large deadline in two days when he almost sideswiped a couple of innocent looking tourists who had stopped in front of him to pose with a NYPD car. He excused himself and carried on. Four more blocks to go.

Castiel arrived at the head office and was immediately greeted by a rush of cool air, making him aware for the first time that he was sweating profusely and his shirt was sticking to him. He waved his ID card over the scanner and rushed over to the elevator, slamming his hand onto floor 32 as fast as he could.

He arrived as the conference room was filling up and managed to secure himself a set somewhere to the left of where Crowley sat. He was unpacking his notes when he noticed the seats on either side of him get filled. On his left was his smarmy, sometimes too sassy and other times too friendly and VP of Sales at Heaven, Balthazar, dressed impeccably in a pale grey suit and purple tie. On his right sat down Lilith, the office flirt, sultry eyed and bleach- blonde hair complimenting her low cut orange wrap dress.

His stomach grumbled again as the rest of the seats filled up and Crowley began to speak, “Good morning all, thank you for coming in today for our quarterly meeting. I’m so glad you could all make it and I look forward to hearing how each one of you is doing their very best to make our office a welcoming and professional home with strong sales and growth every year”. Castiel’s stomach growled again and Lilith slapped him. He started to take notes.

An hour later, Crowley began to wrap up, “Thank you all for your contribution today. I appreciate the work you have done and am excited for another quarter of hard work” A few people weakly clapped. “As we close this meeting, I would like to invite you to come next door where we have a wonderful catered lunch for all of you to enjoy” Some of the members looked around, murmuring assent, “We have ordered our food from Crossroads Catering and will be featuring fried mac and cheese balls, prosciutto wrapped melon, cheesy french fries, mini sliders, tacos, a full salad bar for all of you health freaks and an assortment of pies and cakes for dessert. I have invited all of the senior executives of Heaven to attend so please grab a plate of food and go network!” The murmurs of assent were louder now as people started to stand up and stretch.

Castiel followed Balthazar into the next conference room, watching in dismay as the mac and cheese balls disappeared before he could grab one. He suddenly heard a voice behind him, “Coming through, this is hot, excuse me, excuse me” as a toned man dressed in all black placed a fresh dish of mac and cheese balls on the buffet. The man turned around and in a split second his jovial expression changed, his smile still etched on his face but faded from his eyes. Cas noticed his eyes, emerald green and, he knew, flecked with precious gold. He felt his face take on a confused expression, his head subconsciously tilting as he tried to make sense of his situation. Somehow, he was staring into the eyes he hadn’t seen for three years. Somehow, he was staring into the eyes of Dean Winchester.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3 <3

It was a humid evening in New York City in August 2007. The sun was slowly sinking over the horizon, languishing with exploding pinks and oranges, as though it didn’t quite want to leave the bustle of the city behind. Eight pm found Castiel waiting nervously outside Mesa, the fancy new Spanish restaurant that had opened up in the busy intersection overlooking the Flatiron building. He checked his phone, wondering whether or not Michael would be able to find the small restaurant. At eight fifteen he went inside, worried about losing his reservation. The place inside astounded him. He knew the concept had been loosely based upon Benihana’s but this place had real chefs cooking individual dinners for happy couples, smiling families and celebratory teenagers. Castiel was shown to his table by a young brunette waitress with dimples and too much perfume. He sat and watched the chef, prepare vegetables for their meal. He chopped expertly, julienning carrots and cucumbers as though made of butter. At eight thirty, once all the prep work was completed, he turned to Castiel, “Sorry about that, welcome to Mesa, my names Dean and I’m going to be your chef tonight.”

The first thing Castiel notices was green eyes. Bright, emerald green eyes with crinkles in the corners from the easy going smile. Next he found his eyes being drawn to the man’s muscular figure. He wore his chef whites a smidgeon too tight and Castiel found himself staring at broad shoulders connecting to a tapered torso and finishing in long bow legs. He looked up to see the man smirking at him and could feel his cheeks reddening. “How about we maybe start going over the some food ideas while we wait for you uh friend to arrive?” He questioned. Castiel nodded in assent.

The handsome chef turned around again to reach for a menu and Castiel finds himself staring at the his pert ass chiding himself for checking someone else our while he is waiting for a date. He tells himself that this date will be good. He met Michael at a bookstore last week and he seemed friendly and willing to share dinner. The chef, Dean, turns back around and asks for his name, “uh right…uh Castiel. It’s Castiel” he responds, mentally kicking himself for sounding like he couldn’t quite remember. “Right…well Castiel then, here’s some options for dinner. I usually start with one of two entrees, there’s a chive and salmon pancake with a cream cheese dip or fried mozzarella in a tomato based consommé with fresh baguette. For mains, we can do a beautiful chicken picata, a mushroom risotto or a lemon sole with fingerling potatoes. And for dessert, well, if you ask any other chef here they will give you a long list but from me, it’s all about the pie, and tonight, its apple.” He finished with a wicked glint in his eyes. Castiel agrees on the pancake to start off with, followed by the risotto and, of course, pie. 

The conversation between the two of them seems to flow, surprising Castiel as he has always found himself on the too awkward side of chit chat. Nevertheless, the two men speak of an array of topics, switching easily from sports to books and classic cars to travel destinations. Castiel tells Dean about how he started as a lowly intern at Heaven Corporation and has been there for four years and is really liking it and Dean tells Castiel how he got started at cooking, years ago when his dad had been in the Army and away for extended periods of time leaving Dean to invent recipes for himself and his brother Sam to avoid monotony of grilled cheese every night. Neither notices people moving around them, seeming to only notice the man opposite him until Castiel feels his pocket vibrate. He reaches to get it and sees a text from his brother Gabe _**Hey little bro, hope you’re enjoying your date tonight. Don’t forget to use protection** _Castiel grumbles and notices the time, nine ten pm. He starts to profusely apologize, feeling the blush creep up his cheeks, “um…I’m so sorry to do this, I don’t think my date is coming, I’m really sorry I wasted his time. I should probably, I’m going to, yeah I’m going to go” he blusters. Dean looks at him, concerned, “Its fine, really, I enjoyed talking to you. And hey, wait, you’re the only table I have to serve tonight before I leave, if you want you can just stay here and eat with me, I’m enjoying chatting with you” his eyes dart around the room as he rubs the back of his neck. Castiel agrees and Dean starts preparing the food.__

He ends up enjoying the meal more then he should have, he finds Dean so completely different from himself and yet there doesn’t seem to be any shortage of conversation topics. He finds out about Deans upbringing in Kansas and talks about his own in Los Angeles, deflecting the conversation only when Dean asks when he last saw his family, he isn’t quite ready yet to talk about the pain behind his last disastrous trip back home. The meal ends with pie and Dean licking his lips. Castiel inadvertently shudders. Dean won’t let him pay for the meal, insisting that the pleasure was his, but smiles coyly when Castiel adds a too large tip to the jar sitting at the side of the table. The two men walk out together, the summer night time air a welcome change from the humid days they had been enduring. Dean turns to Castiel, grinning, “I had a really nice time tonight, Cas, I really enjoyed speaking with you” He steps forward, hesitantly and, when he receives no pushback plans a short, chaste kiss on Castiels lips. He reaches into his pocket and grabs a pen then writes his number on the back of Castiel’s hand “Call me okay?” Castiel smiles and watches Dean walk off towards the subway station. That night he dreams of getting lost in a sea of emerald green.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel can feel his hands shaking, the fright of running into Dean evident in his scared look. Balthazar turns around, “Hey man, can you grab me a…woah….dude…Cas you don’t look so good” his voice sounds worried. “I’m fine, just a little lightheaded, I think I just need some air” he shoves his plate into Balthazar’s hands and runs off hurriedly, eyes darting in every direction. He finds himself on the balcony, and steady’s himself on the high railings. He takes big breaths in an out, allowing them to calm his system. So Dean was back. So what? They weren’t dating, they hadn’t even seen each other in three years. He was over Dean. Granted his next relationship hadn’t turned out too well because Alastair had thought he was emotionally unavailable but that was already a year ago already. He is over that too. Time to face the music and prove that he was strong and wasn’t going to collapse in a crying mess in Dean’s arms. 

He turns around, his steely resolution etched into his face and almost walks into Crowley. “Castiel, my man! Great meeting, really well done on your investment returns this quarter. You keep doing what you’re doing and in a few years that CFO position will definitely be yours”. Castiel smiles. “Have you had any food? It really is delicious, here try this” He hands a mac and cheese ball to Castiel who tastes it and nods approvingly. “Delicious right? I thought so! They were made by the wonderful catering company that my cousin knows, really just….oh there he is now, the head of the company, come here Dean! Dean, this is our VP of Finance, Mr Castiel Novak, Castiel this is Dean Winchester the entrepreneur behind Crossroads Catering.” Castiel and Dean shake hands, muttering pleasantries under their breath. “Dean, Castiel here was just telling me how good these mac and cheese balls are, really just delicious!” and with that, he stalks away, leaving Castiel in the sole company of the one person he didn’t want to speak with.

“Hi” says Dean shyly, looking at Castiel from under downcast eyes. “You’re here. Why are you here?” Castiel states matter- of- factly, trying to keep the steadiness in his voice. “I, well, I came back Cas. It, London was fun but it wasn’t for me, I missed New York. Maybe, maybe I could tell you about it over coffee sometime?” He asks with a hopeful sound in his voice. “I don’t think so, I’m a little worried you might ~leave half way through your cup of coffee” Castiel can feel his voice taking on a sarcastic twinge and knows he probably is coming on harsher then he means. He steels himself. Dean was the one who left. Dean was the one who left, telling him only a week before. Dean was the one who walked out on him and he is sure as hell not going to let that happen to him again. Getting his heart broken once was more than enough for Castiel. “Right then” Dean murmurs, a flash of anger in his eyes. He turns and stalks away back to the table. Castiel goes back to his calming breaths.

Castiel can’t sleep that night and, at two am, gets out of bed and pours himself a glass of milk. Three sips in and he knows he needs something stronger so he reaches down for a bottle of Johnny Walker, pours himself a couple fingers and sits at his kitchen table, trying to figure out what had actually happened that afternoon. 

He sleeps through his alarm the next morning, woken by screeching birds from his dreams of warm embraces and sits up abruptly, realizing he has twenty minutes to get to the office. He pulls on dark grey suit, a light grey shirt and a blue tie that brings out his eyes and runs out the door. By ten am he can feel his stomach rumbling and so he ducks out to find a bagel. He walks into a charming little eatery two blocks down called “Billy’s Bagels” and orders an everything bagel with cream cheese and lox. The girl behind the counter begins to make his bagel when she is interrupted by a loud call of , “Mornin’ Hayley, pastry and pie delivery is here!” Castiel closes his eyes and breathes in “Oh come on” he mutters under his breath, turning around to see Dean. Dean is wearing faded blue jeans and an ACDC shirt. Castiel stares at the ground, praying it might actually open up and swallow him. He resolves not to come back to this bakery. Dean walks up to him resolutely and says, “Hi Cas, look, I know you probably hate me and never want to see my face again but for better or worse, I’m back in New York and we will keep bumping into each other, that’s just how the city is so you can either run away or man up and just talk to me. Please.” His eyes sparkle. Castiel frowns, “I don’t hate you” he says softly “I don’t know what I feel but I don’t hate you. Actually, scrap that, I have no feelings towards you, none at all. In case you don’t remember Dean, you left. You left me behind, here, by myself. Our relationship wasn’t even worth enough to you to actually tell me. We had been dating for four years, Dean, four years, I was ready to propose!” The other man looks angry “Don’t blame this all on me Cas, I gave you the opportunity to come with me, I asked you” “Yeah, a week before you left, think that was enough time for me to rearrange my life? I wasn’t going to be a side thought Dean and you knew I could never find a job in London as good as the one I had here. I know you had a great opportunity to move there Dean but you left me behind, you fucking left me behind” and with that, Castiel storms out, only remembering later that he had forgotten his bagel.


End file.
